A Nigerian lady has sparked reactions online after revealing that she felt no sadness following the death of her mother, whom she claimed had been estranged from her for years.
The young woman shared her experience in a Facebook post while explaining that she had not spoken to her mother for five years.
She claimed that her mother had despised her from birth and that their relationship remained strained until her death.
‘My Mother and I Haven’t Spoken in 5 Years’
According to the lady, she had been informed that her mother was seriously ill and was asked to visit her in hospital more than a week before her death.
She said she went to the hospital but had a painful encounter with her mother.
“My mother and I haven’t spoken in 5 years. She despised me from birth.
“Over a week ago, I got a phone call that she was dying and was asked to come to the hospital. I went.
“When I got there, she was asleep. But the moment her eyes opened and she saw me, she used her hands and eyes to signal that I should leave. So I left,” she wrote.
‘I Feel Nothing’
The lady revealed that her mother eventually died two days ago but said she was surprised by her own reaction to the loss.
“Two days ago, she passed away. And strangely enough, I feel nothing.
“No anger.
“No tears.
“Just… nothing,” she stated.
She explained that the absence of grief was connected to the nature of their relationship, saying she did not feel she had a relationship with her mother to mourn.
‘I Will Not Be Attending Her Funeral’
The woman also disclosed that she had decided not to attend her mother’s funeral or contribute financially towards the burial.
“I will not be attending her funeral.
“I will not be contributing financially towards it.
“Not because I am trying to punish the dead.
“But because I am finally accepting that death does not automatically create a relationship that never existed in life,” she wrote.
She acknowledged that some people might struggle to understand her decision, especially because of the expectation that children should honour their parents after death.
“I know people will say:
‘She was your mother’
‘You only have one mother.’
‘Whatever happened, forgive her.’
‘You will regret not giving her a proper burial,’” she wrote.
However, she maintained that people may not understand the pain she had experienced throughout her life.
“Maybe. But I also know what it feels like to spend years carrying pain that nobody sees,” she stated.
“So this is not really about a funeral. It is about the complicated reality of having a parent who never felt like a parent.
“Can you grieve someone you never had a relationship with?
“And if there is no relationship to mourn, what exactly are you supposed to feel when they die?” she asked.
Her post has since sparked discussions online, with users sharing different views on the situation.
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